Full English

“Time for your annual blow job, dear”

You know when you go into HMV or anywhere that sells DVDs and you have a little look and then out the corner of your eyes you see a straight-to-dvd rip-off of a film that has just come out like Iron Man and it’s called something like Steel Man, essentially the same idea but with a stupidly low budget and is just crap? Yeah, that is like this.

Another comparison would be like comparing it to going into Tesco and looking at the baked beans, you got Heinz, you got HP… You’ve even got Branston but nah, lets save 30p and go with Tesco Value baked beans, this is what you get. The sauce is stodgy, the beans are dry, and they taste disgusting and then you sit there with your dinner and look at the beans and think… I really should have spent that 30p more.

Full English is absolutely crap. I have said it. With an animation the beauty is you have the power to literally do anything you can think of, anything in your mind, yet, for some bizarre reason, whoever is behind this show choose to base it around the least original set-up you could think of. A family. An animated family. They’ve attempted to go down the family Guy route and include a creature that talks. I mean it’s worked wonders for Seth MacFarlene and no-one seems bored of it… Steve come ‘ere mate, draw something weird and we’ll make it talk yeah? is what the morons must have said when designing Squidge.

All the characters are near-enough carbon copies of Family Guy and this maybe wouldn’t be all bad if the jokes were good, but they’re not. It literally is just rude references mixed with over the top swearing in a sad struggle to get some kind of cheap laugh. I was open throughout, I wanted something to make me scoff or anything , but nothing came of it and I will never get those 30 minutes refunded to my life expectancy.

If you want some Family Guy, watch Family Guy, please… just do it… Don’t fall into the trap I did, I only heard about this through a friend who told me it was God awful and I thought I’d just give it a go to try it and now, I wish I had just listened.

With the whole universe open for you to play with in animation you’d think we could finally move out of the family-based stories. The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show and even to an extent South Park all follow this set-up so why not just… move out of it.

Each and every character was a carbon copy of a character that already exists in these universes, even Ken the father-in-law could pass for an aged Quagmire and it’s so sadly obvious Full English wanted to give the UK their own adult cartoon, but this, ladies and gentlemen, is not the way to do it.

I might watch a few more episodes if I catch them just to maybe give it another chance or if not just tell anyone reading this exactly how bad it is in more episode based criticisms.

As quoted, if the blow job is this bad I think there’s a reason it’s an annual event, and even then, let’s put it off a little longer? Richard Ayoade, why are you involved?

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